Feeling Small

The world is a big place, with far more years on its shoulders than we sometimes care to imagine. We've visited some spots that if you just allow yourself to stop and think and wonder, you can feel the smallness. It's not a scary thing, just a reality thing.

Crater Lake was one of those places. To stand there and imagine this huge mountain that is no longer there being blown to such bits is to really use your imagination. Then to imagine what was left of the mountain collapsing into the empty magma chamber creating a crater takes imagination as well. So now close your eyes and picture year after year of rainfall and snowfall accumulating in the lake and the level slowly starting to rise until it is over 1,900 feet deep in places and containing incredible shades of blue.

Walking among redwoods was also one of those places. You can only see a teeny-tiny bit of Sarah and Nathan on this tree. The span of their little lifetimes is so small compared to all this tree has seen. One tree we visited had enough board feet to build three 3-bedroom homes. I am so thankful that at some point in the past folks decided to protect some of these giants for future generations to stand beneath and feel small.

We often think of feeling small as a negative, but in these places we have visited it is a chance to better appreciate our place in the world. We are a small part of a much larger creation, and we all have a part in making it a better place.

Drawn

I went to church today. This is no surprise to some, but may be to others - particularly those who I told that I was going to observe folks outside of church during my sabbatical. You see, as a pastor, I don't get to see people outside of church very often on Sundays. I guess you could say that I'm paid to be there, and since some folks figure that is the one day a week that I'm working, I try not to skip too many. Even when I'm on vacation, I'll usually find a church to attend somewhere, and it is a treat for me (and for my parishioners) when I get to hear someone other than myself preaching.

Week one, we attended "church" at the amazing outdoor "cathedral" that God built in Glacier National Park. The picture is one of countless views of God's workmanship, which we observed with folks who had joined us from all over the world.

For week two, the kids and I floated down the Deschutes River in Bend, Oregon. Bend is an outdoorsy place, and there were many who joined us down by the river, often with their dogs, playing catch in and out of the gentle flow.

I spent week three in the place where many folks spend a few hours on Sunday - at a golf course. My friend Paul (the best man at our wedding, but not the apostle, although he has traveled quite a bit of the world) and I played 18 at a course whose Sunday special included a cart and lunch. The day was a reminder that sin, in the form of three-putts, is always crouching at the door.

Even though we are thoroughly enjoying our sabbatical journey, all has not been rosy and wonderful. Sarah and Nathan love to get on each other's nerves and other body parts, which in turn puts Evie's and my nerves on edge. They're wonderful kids - sort of like bleach and ammonia are great cleaning agents - but together they can create a rather toxic environment. Since we can't really get away from them, and we can't really put them in cages, Evie and I sometimes get on each other's nerves, just to survive, and so that we don't leave the kids at a rest stop. It's not that we want to get one each other's nerves, but survival can be one of those lower-order needs that is always demanding satisfaction. The fuse is only so long.

So we left Bend on Thursday and the trip to the coast was sort of a catastrophe. We enjoyed Crater Lake National Park on the way, but there's no easy way to get from Crater Lake to our destination near Gold Beach. I decided to let the Garmin tell us where to go, which is usually a pretty safe thing to do. Evie shared with me (about two hours into an endless nightmare of winding, single lane, two-way logging roads shared exclusively by us and vans towing rafts going way too fast in the other direction) that perhaps it might have been a good thing to compare the Garmin's route with the Road Atlas to see if it was sending us the best way (did you know that Rand McNally now markets their road atlas as a "GPS Companion"?). We were about halfway through the forest, and I doubted that we'd arrive.

There's no town here, no main street, just a few homes and a sign that reads "Ophir." We had coffee, but no grinder, so I headed into Gold Beach on Friday morning to balance my blood-caffeine levels and hopefully find a grinder. My first stop was the coffee shop near the intersection of the Pacific Ocean and the Rogue River. I sat down with a fresh cup and opened my journal, into which I wrote, "God, I'm at the end of my strength... Give me your grace, that I may face today with kindness and courage... Please carry me in these days when I cannot stand on my own. Amen."

As I wrote, I couldn't help overhearing the conversations of those around me in the shop. One fellow's conversation gave me the impression that he might be a minister, so after he left, I consulted the barista, who confirmed my intuition. The fellow's name is Tim, and he's the minister at Bethany Lutheran Church in Gold Beach (we'd been curious about the church on our way through town), and he drives the river boat six days a week (See? We pastors may only work one day a week, but some have another job, too!).

I found a grinder at the Ace Hardware in town, but I wondered if I might run into Pastor Tim again the next day at the coffee shop. No sign of him on Saturday morning, so I opened my journal again and began to write:

If I was a bigger fan of divine determinism, I'd wonder if the events of these past weeks have been an attempt, along with Tim's presence here at the coffee shop, to get me back into a pew. I'll admit that I could use a bit of spiritual sustenance right now, but I'm on a path to believing that God calls persons to himself, not to pew-sitting. Pastor Tim is a gift (perhaps, as I have yet to meet the man) of God and of the Church, but I guess the point I'm trying to make is that the Church's gift is Christ, not herself. The Church peddles Christ, not a place in the pews. Nevertheless, the Church has the sacraments that can sustain us. I presently desire the Eucharist, that "good gift" which reminds us that we belong to a community, to a body, to Christ. I long for the water to remind me of who I am, that my identity and value are as God's Beloved. The Church reminds me of this: I am not alone, and I am loved. As the Church recognizes these truths and begins to convince the world of their veracity, she will not only survive, but thrive. I am not drawn to a pew, but to be part of a people convinced that God is real, loves us, and wants us to share that love. Amen.

So we got up this morning, had breakfast, and went to church at Bethany Lutheran. We met Pastor Tim, who turned out to be a delightful pastor. As guests, we were given a Mason jar full of beans and a soup recipe. We worshiped, singing "Softly and Tenderly, Jesus is Calling." The Gospel lesson was from Mark 6, where we heard Jesus tell his disciples, "Come away to a deserted place all by yourselves and rest a while." After the service, I set up a golf outing with Pastor Tim (when he's not driving the boat), and we enjoyed the rich fellowship that Bethany had to offer. It was warm, it was genuine, and it was what we all needed.

Divine determinism? I think it's more like what God inspired Jeremiah to write for this morning's Old Testament reading: "'I myself will gather the remnant of my flock out of all the lands where I have driven them, and I will bring them back to their fold, and they shall be fruitful and multiply. I will raise up shepherds over them who will shepherd them, and they shall not fear any longer or be dismayed, nor shall any be missing,' says the Lord." God is always drawing us to himself - and sometimes, when we pay attention, we can get a glimpse of his open arms.

Beach House

This is a picture of Squirrel, the name I gave to the little calf that lives in the fields across and on both sides of the house. There are about 26 other cattle in that field along with Squirrel. Last night, we all went for a walk on the beach, during high tide. Nathan and I loved watching the Pacific waves crash up on the beach. If you look out any west side window in our "charming little beach house", you will have a straight shot to the ocean. AWESOME!! Here's a picture of our "charming little beach house". God has worked his powers again because it's been 65 and sunny both days we've been here. Another bonus on this house is a giant HOT TUB!! Right on our front porch! Everybody loves it here!

God Bless,
Sarah

The View

Thank you, Louisville Institute! When we arrived here in Gold Beach, Oregon, John commented that we are paying for the view. And actually, our sabbatical grant from the Louisville Institute is paying for the view and it is AWESOME! So again, thank you Louisville Institute. The attached pictures (photography by Sarah) show the view out one of the kitchen windows (there are five and they all face the ocean) as I washed dishes last night. I still don't like washing dishes, but it was a lot more fun with this as the view. The house is a charming updated 1909 farmhouse with a distinct list to one side. But it is full of sunlight streaming in and even came with a pasture of beef cattle around the outside. It's nice to have space again.

The kids and I headed to the ocean yesterday - twice. Sarah will swim in anything, I think, and within five minutes was wet from head to toe. I put my feet in and thought I should head to the clinic for frostbite. But the waves were gentle and the kids had a blast crashing into them and running on the shore. We also took a walk last night when the tide was high and saw how powerful the waves can be here. One knocked Nathan right over so he learned first hand the difference between low and high tide when it comes to waves. The beach here is not white sand, like my beloved Vero Beach in Florida, but coarser and is literally black and white. It looks like you're walking in salt and pepper. It's very rocky and we found some beautiful green, red and black/white rocks.

Oh, just in case you're wondering what John has been up to as he is rarely mentioned in our day-to-day activities. He has been putting in many hours in front of his computer and other various pieces of equipment learning how to use all the new programs acquired through the grant in preparation for his time with his consultant in CA. He really has been diligent about his sabbatical work, although I think a good portion of it is fun for him. He has written one song already (music only) and let us hear it. He is thoroughly enjoying the "work" of music and creativity.

I do apologize for so few blog entries. I keep thinking we'll write on a not-nice weather day, but we literally have not had one of those since John's fateful golf outing in Medora, ND. When we get to Hilmar (where it was 100 yesterday!) we can hide out in the A/C and work backwards to catch you up!

Water Bugs

We've enjoyed two great days of water activity as we wrap up our time here in Bend. (Tomorrow we head to the coast.) Monday was whitewater rafting day and the kids had a BLAST! With three of us as rookies, we played it safe and did just the hour trip which only involved about five minutes of the roughest rapids - but what fun! The father of the family that shared the boat with us said more than once "your kids are fearless" as Sarah and Nathan sat in the very front of the boat and had the water wash over them more than once. It really is an adrenaline rush and I know why people enjoy it so much. The look on their faces in our pictures captures so well the fun and amazement of the moment. I hope to get them scanned when we reach CA and put them up here for you to see.

Yesterday we headed back out to the DesChutes River for our final floating trips. This time mom went and that water is COLD!!! But it was a beautiful sunny day and after I stopped gritting my teeth about the water temperature it really was a pleasant float. One slight rescue at the end as Nathan couldn't paddle hard enough for our exit and I had to swim out to him and haul him in. The bottom is about six inches of muck and who knows what else and I was NOT real pleased to plod through that crud, but a mom's gotta' do what a mom's gotta' do, right? We loaded up in the van and went around again, this time just Sarah and John making the trip. Sarah has just loved all the water activities around here and really doesn't seem to mind the cold water. We'll see how she likes the ocean this far north.

SummerFest

We enjoyed a weekend visit from John's friend Paul Leonard. Paul has lived all over the world in the last 20 years, but currently is in Vancouver and he made the 8 hour drive down to see John. They enjoyed golfing at two of the local courses and Paul hung out at the local summer festival with us. The kids loved having him around and certainly made him feel like a celebrity, complete with welcome sign on the front door when he arrived on Friday afternoon.

SummerFest was loaded with local music and food. The kids are always happy for an outing that involves hot dogs, a food mom rarely allows at home. Nathan made a bird feeder at Home Depot's booth for kids (in the photo). It's a great example of why we have to hire someone to fix everything at our house rather than being able to do it ourselves as his mom was his "assistant."

Bend continues to provide endless things to do. If we are ever bored, it is by our own choice. I can see why people come here and end up staying.

Eastern Montana

We drove through A LOT of eastern Montana. We were somewhat surprised by the terrain, not expecting so much open space. Farms stretched for acre after acre and just about EVERYTHING is irrigated. Giant sprinklers were running 24/7, even on the hay. It was easy to tell where the farms stopped and the ranches started as the ranches do much less irrigation. Mixed in with the cattle we saw pronghorn antelope – very cool. As we drove through the state, I wondered what it could possibly have been like to be a homesteader in this dry land. I can’t even imagine how hard it was to scratch out a house and feed yourself, let alone a family in this high desert. I’ve been reading historical novels of the Montana area and it just amazes me that folks held on and made a life here. I hope on the way home to lobby for some stops on the Oregon Trail to further experience the strength and determination of those who moved out west. Of course, there are always two sides to every story and the treatment of Native Americans in those years warrants its own investigation.

Floating the Deschutes River

A fun and popular activity here is floating down the Deschutes River. John, Sarah and Nathan rented PFDs (I called them PDFs when we walked into the rental store – flatlander that I am!!) one day, pumped up some floats and headed down the river. They were able to float for just over 2 miles, enjoying a beautiful day here in central Oregon. The kids wanted to go again right away, despite the chill in the water. Next week the forecast is for low 80s, so maybe that will make it warm enough for mom to want to go along.

Volcanic Activity

The volcanic activity also had an impact on the area rivers. I hiked to Benham Falls which was created when the lava flow redirected the river (7,000 years ago). It was so cool to see the black lava rock right up against the riverbank. The rock looks almost like a bulldozer pushed it into place. The really amazing thing is that a place like this is less than 15 minutes from our house and easily accessible on foot. I love this area for these kinds of opportunities.

Lava Cave

The unique topography of this area was formed by volcanic activity and there are some cool opportunities to learn about the formation of this area. We visited the Lava Lands Visitor Center and checked out the view from the top of Lava Butte. Lava Butte is a cinder cone, formed by lava flow and ash. The kids enjoyed the “float” activity at the center to see how lightweight the rocks are and learned they are full of gas holes which makes them able to float. Sarah made friends with a chipmunk up on top of the butte.We also enjoyed a stop at the Lava River Cave, a lava tube you can walk through. After about 30 minutes of walking we reached the end. Here are the kids in the cave - on hands and knees at this point to get through the tube. This was about was far as my slight claustrophobic self could handle. Thankfully it was only 42 degrees in there - had it been warmer Sarah and Nathan would have had the pleasure of carrying their mother out of the cave. :)

Outdoors

Outdoors is a serious way of life here in central Oregon. Bend has miles of trails, paved and otherwise, spread throughout the city for biking, hiking and running. Here is a picture of one of the nearby trails I’ve enjoyed traversing. It’s right along the Deschutes River and I so enjoy the scenery. As an outsider, it strikes awe in my heart every time I catch a glimpse of the mountains and the river.

Dog Days

Happy 4th of July! We have arrived in Bend safely, and were very pleased with our house. It’s very hot here, in the 90’s both days we’ve been here. Sarah, Nathan and Evie went to a huge 4th pet parade in downtown today. It was mostly dogs, with a mixture of ducks, chickens, and guinea pigs. In the dog section, they had everything from Great Danes to pugs. And their costumes were great. Yes, costumes on dogs. They had Cinderella dog, hot dog, TNT dog, and even a tye-dyed red, white, and blue dog! But best of all was a dog, strapped to a bunch of giant balloons, and get this. He was floating! There was a festival afterwards with game booths, art booths, and food booths. Nathan played a sling-shot game where you had to shoot fish into the Deschutes River, Evie found a pita booth that she was quite pleased with, and Sarah found a hula-hoop, which she figured out how to turn in your hoop and keeping it spinning. Nathan and Sarah both got their faces painted, as you can see from the photo. In Glacier National Park, we saw elk, deer, and a herd of bison, complete with calves only about a few days old. Yellowstone National Park, we visited the Painted Pots, which were beautiful pools of 160 degree water. They were beautiful aqua blues. Sarah thought they looked like the Great Barrier Reef in Australia. We raced through Grand Teton, but the part that we saw was, hands down, one of the most beautiful sights we had ever seen, mountain wise. The people around Bend are very friendly. The kids went into the Deschutes River. FREEZING COLD!!!!! But, they still went in far enough to have a splash war. When the kids and Evie went on a walk through town, they found the COOLEST candy store EVER! It was called Powell’s. It had everything from Zots to single color M&M’s to giant Jawbreakers and all kinds of old-fashioned candy varities. We went out to a restaurant called Bend Brewing Company, which we were very pleased with. John has set up and is raring to go. He’s started to put together demos of music. Hey, it’s a start. We’ll keep you updated.

God Bless,

John, Evie, Sarah, and Nathan